Snake & Fizz: Rock Star Diaries

Men in Leather Pants: The Two Acceptable Categories

By Snake and Fizz contributor Joel Stice.

Men, you shouldn’t be wearing leather pants. Especially if you don’t fit into one of these two categories:

1. Rock star: And no, that doesn’t mean you are one because your garage band knows “Shout at the Devil”. Think...watching two groupies snort coke of each other while you swig JD in your suite at the Hyatt -- after headlining the Pontiac Silverdome. Kind of like if your name is Snake or Fizz.

2. Member of an outlaw biker gang: You need to be at least on a few states’ most wanted lists and have a couple of teeth missing from balls-to-the-wall bar brawls. Going for weekend rides in Connecticut with your buddies from dental school doesn’t count. Ever. If you don’t fall into one of these two categories you’re just a douche bag propagating the death of an innocent cow. (Man, am I hungry for a burger!)

Happy 300th Post!

This is our 300th post, like ever. To commemorate the moment, here is a link to some wonderful human beings, also known as our fans. And a special raise of the glass to our new contributors. Look for more genius from them soon.

Keep the party alive, Mates!

Video Blast from the Past: AC/DC

Snake and Fizz want to give a shout out to our old mentors, AC/DC, who are on tour right now. We were supposed to open for them but a certain law suit prohibits us from leaving the state. All we have to say is...she looked 18!
As you all know, Angus taught Fizz to play the guitar and Bon taught Snake how to vomit (sadly, Mr. Scott wasn't very good at it). Here are a few 'Dirty Deeds' of our own from our new show, "Never Gonna Quit!"

Happy Halloween, Bitches!

(Some bloke from our last Halloween bash.)

It's that time of year again, when we put on a pair of Mickey Mouse ears, drink a pint and wake up with some sort of feces on our pants. Have a rockstar-style Halloween and try not to get arrested. If you do, we suggest doing it like this (as featured over at Holy Taco).

Our Top 10 Guitar Solos Video Compilation

We call it Rock and Roll! Here are Snake and Fizz's Top 10 Guitar solos...after Fizz of course!

Speaking of maximum RnR, check out the new trailer for our upcoming show...

Video Blast from the Past: Faster Pussycat

Sure, we understand that these guys are angry at their pop for being a wanker and are trying way to hard to voice that in this video, but this is a Snake and Fizz guilty pleasure (kinda' like pouring Bristol Cream on Belgian prostitutes). Oh and FYI, the little blonde kid in this video went on to a successful career in snuff porn.

Enjoy.

Video Blast from the Past: Ozzy & Lita Ford

A tip of the glass to Sharon's husband, who did a little number with Snake and Fizz groupie, Lita Ford, a few decades ago. Nice eye makeup, Ozzy.

Bon Jovi's Amazing Stretchy Stomach

As many of you know, Bon Jovi plays Central Park today, which recently caused a stir when a bunch of free tickets given out for the concert were fetching $750 apiece on the street. Anyway, it makes us reminisce when we toured with BJ in the 80's and the rumor was going around that doctors had to pump 20 gallons of gentlemen's relish out of Jon's stomach.

However, that is completely untrue. It was 20 gallons of Dr. Brown's Cream Soda.

Can you blame him? It's delicious.

In other Bon Jovi news...

Ozzy Didn't Topple

The Prince of Darkness, Ozzy Osbourne, won some cash from a British paper. Here's the scoop:

LONDON (AP) Ozzy Osbourne has accepted undisclosed libel damages and an apology over a newspaper claim that he was ill at the Brit Awards.

The 59-year-old rocker sued over a story in the Daily Star that alleged he had toppled over twice just before the televised ceremony and that he was moved around the awards in an electric buggy.

Osbourne's lawyer, John Kelly, told a court in London on Thursday that none of the allegations were put to Osbourne or his representatives before they were published.

Express Newspapers' lawyer Kate Wilson said the publisher now accepts that the allegations were untrue.

It may be untrue, but we think an electric buggy would be bitchin'.

See Jimi Hendrix Naked

Is that a guitar in your pocket, or...?

Vivid Entertainment -- the adult entertainment company that in the past has released sex tapes with Pamela Anderson and Kim Kardashian -- says they are releasing a new sex tape. And this one "stars" rock legend Jimi Hendrix.

The Los Angeles-based adult entertainment company said they obtained the footage of the music legend shot in a hotel room about 40 years ago from a memorabilia collector.

The footage features Hendrix engaging in various sexual acts with two women, according to a statement released by Vivid. The company said they consulted with several experts to authenticate the footage.

Hendrix died of a drug overdose in 1970. Seattle-based representatives for Hendrix's estate did not want to comment about the tape.

In order to authenticate the footage, all 12,000 women who had sex with Hendrix during his lifetime were summoned to view his "performance" and give it the stamp of authenticity. When Vivid was asked if they were going to lock the footage in a vault like the recent Marilyn Monroe sex tape in order to protect Jimi's privacy, they responded with a statement along the lines of "go and commit a sex act with yourself."