By Snake and Fizz contributor Joel Stice.
Men, you shouldn’t be wearing leather pants. Especially if you don’t fit into one of these two categories:
1. Rock star: And no, that doesn’t mean you are one because your garage band knows “Shout at the Devil”. Think...watching two groupies snort coke of each other while you swig JD in your suite at the Hyatt -- after headlining the Pontiac Silverdome. Kind of like if your name is Snake or Fizz.
2. Member of an outlaw biker gang: You need to be at least on a few states’ most wanted lists and have a couple of teeth missing from balls-to-the-wall bar brawls. Going for weekend rides in Connecticut with your buddies from dental school doesn’t count. Ever.
If you don’t fall into one of these two categories you’re just a douche bag propagating the death of an innocent cow. (Man, am I hungry for a burger!)