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August 2009
August 31, 2009
August 25, 2009
Seatbelt Safety with Rihanna & Chris Brown
TMZ has obtained the police report for the Chris Brown vs. Rihanna boxing match. Here's some of the scoop:
"The victim said she became enraged and slammed both of her fists against the dashboard on the passenger side of the car they were in. She reported that the defendant then pulled the vehicle over and reached over her with his right hand. He opened the car door and tried to force the victim out."
According to the report, Brown was unable to shove Rihanna out of the car because she was wearing a seatbelt.
The report continues, "When he could not force her to exit, he took his right hand and shoved her head against the passenger window of the car. "
"The victim then faced the defendant and he punched her i the left eye with his right hand. He then continued driving."
"As he drove, he continued to punch the victim in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand."
Rihanna told cops the "assault caused her mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter over her clothing and the inside of the car."
According to the report, Brown was unable to shove Rihanna out of the car because she was wearing a seatbelt.
The report continues, "When he could not force her to exit, he took his right hand and shoved her head against the passenger window of the car. "
"The victim then faced the defendant and he punched her i the left eye with his right hand. He then continued driving."
"As he drove, he continued to punch the victim in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand."
Rihanna told cops the "assault caused her mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter over her clothing and the inside of the car."
The most important thing out of this story is that Rihanna was wearing her seatbelt. See, Kids, even if someone is repeatedly beating you in the face, a seatbelt can keep you from falling out of the car.
(Snake and Fizz are rockstars and the twisted wankers behind this site. Follow them on Twitter.)
August 24, 2009
August 19, 2009
She's a Man, Baby! Runner to be Tested for Man Parts
Okay, I'm not a chick -- at least I don't think so -- but I'm guessing one of the most offensive things that could happen to a chick is if someone thought you were a man. And then further pushed the matter by requiring tests to prove you are a female. Well, that has happened to an 18-year-old track star.
Via the National Ledger:
The IAFF wants [a gender test] for track star Caster Semenya. The blazing South African teenager was reported as a potential disqualification from the 800m final in Berlin but despite the gender question, easily won the 800-meter gold medal Wednesday at the world track and field championships.
According to the Associated Press, while the tests are conducted and the sex is determined, "Although medals will be awarded for the 800, the race remains under a cloud until the investigation is closed."
Luckily, she's a teenager and that's a time when kid's are full of confidence, so I'm sure she'll get over this easily. However, I can see why the race officials are suspicious, though. Here last name is "Semen, Ya!" That's a dead giveaway.
(Snake and Fizz are rockstars and the twisted wankers behind this site. Follow them on Twitter.)
August 17, 2009
Groupie of the Week: Gina Carano
We know she got her ass kicked by a she-dude in this weekend's Strikeforce event, but that doesn't make her less hot. We love us some Gina. Drink it up.
More Carano hotness after the jump.
August 14, 2009
A Collection of Girls in Thongs
There's something about when a girl puts on a thong that makes her want to show it off. And we, good sirs, are the benefactors of that 'thong-showing force'. To get the weekend started off right, here's a collection of girls in the aforementioned thongs.
More thongness after the jump.
August 13, 2009
It's Official: We're Never Eating Cake Again
(Snake and Fizz are rockstars and the twisted wankers behind this site. Follow them on Twitter.)
August 12, 2009
Top 5 Worst Celebrity Beards
5. Al Gore
Al, your beard might be hazardous to the environment.
4. Brad Pitt
Brad, unless you're doing a Grizzly Adams remake, shave that thing before rats start nesting in there.
3. Shia LaBeouf
Shia, you got a couple more years, Kiddo, before you're grown up. Shave that peach fuzz. Teen Beat misses you!
August 11, 2009
What Was She Thinking?
That hat doesn't go with those boots.
(Snake and Fizz are rockstars and the twisted wankers behind this site. Follow them on Twitter.)
Miley Cyrus Grinds a Pole at Teen Choice Awards
Controversy is abrewin' over Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montanta's pole dancing during her performance at the Teen Choice Awards last night. Even the owner of Scores -- the famous strip joint in NYC -- has weighed in with his worthless opinion.
“While Miley did show off some skills, we at SCORES cannot encourage this kind of behavior for women under the legal age. If she’d like to come try out in a couple of years, our door’s open!”
Yes, she's still only sixteen. Althought that doesn't explain the retarded accent. Video of the so-called pole dancing is below and there are more picture of the crap fest after the jump. And that's correct, that is an ice cream cart she is standing on.
Continue reading "Miley Cyrus Grinds a Pole at Teen Choice Awards" »
August 10, 2009
Groupie of the Week: Halle Berry
More of Halle after the jump.
August 09, 2009
Saddest News Ever: Jack Daniel's Master Distiller Dies
Yes, it's true. A great American and value to the human race has passed. Via MSN:
Jimmy Bedford, the slender and silver-haired former master distiller of the Jack Daniel's whiskey during a 40-year career with the company, died Friday. He was 69.
His body was found outside a barn at his farm in Lynchburg, apparently the victim of a heart attack, company officials said.
Bedford retired in March 2008 after spending 20 years as the master distiller supervising the entire operation at the 143-year-old distillery in Lynchburg, the oldest registered one in the United States. Among his duties was tasting the whiskey before it was sent to retailers.
Luckily, the company has a new master distiller and will not have to cease productioon of the delicious Tennessee nectar. And more importantly, how do I get a job as the 'taster'? This blogging thing sucks anyway. Oh, yeah. Don't drink and drive.
(Snake and Fizz are rockstars and the twisted wankers behind this site. Follow them on Twitter.)
August 08, 2009
Need a Job? Look No Further!
Yes, this is the actual link this company sends out via e-mail.
Now accepting applications. (Thanks, Joy!)
(Snake and Fizz are rockstars and the twisted wankers behind this site. Follow them on Twitter.)
"Saved By The Bell": Where Are They Now?
With the new People magazine cover story -- minus one pissed off Screech -- we thought it would be appropriate to do an accurate 'Where are they now?' feature for the cast of "Saved By The Bell".
Lark Voorhies (Lisa)
Mario Lopez (Slater)
Elizabeth Berkley (Jessie)
Dustin Diamond (Screech)
Mark-Paul Gosselaar (Zach)
Tiffani-Amber Thiessen (Kelly)
Dennis Haskins (Mr. Belding)
(Snake and Fizz are rockstars and the twisted wankers behind this site. Follow them on Twitter.)
August 07, 2009
August 06, 2009
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