Every now and then a report comes out that is just so crazy it couldn't be made up. Well, this is one such report. Rumors are flying that Amy Winehouse and her equally-crazy dad are trying to market a perfume with her name on it. As in, "Vomit: The Amy Winehouse Collection".
There are a few things that might make this a marketing headache. For starters, the gal doesn't quite look like she emits a nice smell. Two, your faceperson is missing several teeth, snorts vodka, and looks like a caucasian Ghandi in drag. The third obstacle would be the name of the fragrance.
Usually the name of a perfume should evoke a sensual/sexy thought and have at least something to do with the celeb's image. Like J-Lo's "Glow after Dark", Paris Hilton's "Siren", and Christina Aguilera's "By Night". Luckily, we have a crack marketing department we asked to come up with some possible names for Ms. Winehouse's perfume. Here's what they gave us:
"Thigh Stank"
"Whore"
"Backseat Sweat"
"Frontseat Sweat"
"Motor Oil"
"Beef Jerkey"
"Cabbage"
"Feet"
"Swampy Mist"
"Regurgitated Vodka"
"Nasal Drip"
"Vampira"
We'll keep working on it. Regardless of the name, the reviews have already been filtering in from the few that have sampled the smelliness. Here is our favorite:
"Upon first putting Ms. Winehouse's scent on my wrist, I noticed it immediately discolored my skin's pigmentation and I felt a deep burning sensation. Shortly after, I started to feel nauseous and my crotch started to itch. When I raised my wrist to my nose and inhaled deeply, I was transported to a whorehouse I once visited in Thailand where I endulged in women and broiled mussels.
"Thankfully, a truckdriver had hit a skunk outside my office and I scooped it up and shoved my face in its ass. I felt immediate relief, however, the spots I saw still have not gone away."
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