By Snake & Fizz contributor, Isaac G.
Hey, Folks. My name is Frank. I feel that unbridled passion is the key to life. Sharing these passions with others makes our stay on earth special. That is why I devote most of my time to my two loves —- slaying vag and smoking huge blunts.
Because I have clobbered many a vag, I feel it is my duty to impart my wisdom on the world at large. Let’s answer some email.
Steve in Oxnard, CA writes: “Dear Frank, I have a real problem. I am having trouble getting my girlfriend to concede to anal intercourse. I love her dearly (we even watched “The Notebook” together) and I feel that anal sex will bring us closer. I really want to share this experience with her, but unfortunately she’s not as open minded about it as I am. Any suggestions on how to get her to open up, both figuratively and in the rear? Thanks so much!!”
Steve, don’t feel discouraged. This is a delicate subject for most women. In fact, the majority of females require some heavy cajoling in order for them to acquiesce to the notion of sodomy. It is important that you consider her feelings and take the discourse slow. You two are a team and want to get there together.
So here’s what you do:
When she’s not looking, slip her a sleeping pill and wait for her to pass out. Then, flip her over, lube her up, and pound her sweet cheeks like you’re the dude from American Idol with the Emo haircut. She will never know (unless you’re black, in which case please refrain from said heavy pounding unless you want a murder on your hands).
That’s it for this week, Folks. Take care and be kind to one another!
About me: When not slaying poon or smoking huge blunts, I spend most of my time watching old Nickelodeon programs like, “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” For advice, email frankthepoonslayer@gmail.com.
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